*Wrote this a few days ago when I was feeling a bit apprehensive about going home. I find that people tend to believe that we should be excited to get home, but it can also be quite a scary idea at times.*
I’m from Canberra. That should be enough to let anyone in Australia realise that I’m from the (relatively unknown) land of public servants, museums, and crappy weather. Yet since being abroad for the past 4.5 months I have found myself becoming more and more convinced that Australia is really the land of sunshine. See I do remember the cold winter days, the rain, the hail, and the snow on the last day of winter two years back. I remember how bitter the wind was when it comes of the mountains and how we always seemed to underdress for school. But more than this I fondly recall the memories of summer. Running to the dam on the too hot days, or more accurately taking the dogs to the dam and getting pushed in by a not so helpful brother, and being too afraid to touch the bottom because of the yabbies that were, in theory, still crawling around the bottom. I remember spending evenings eating dinner outside and overspraying myself with bug spray which never seemed to entirely do the job. I remember running around on the lawn after the sun had set and the temperature was finally cool enough to be outside. I remember the hot nights which had me questioning the logic behind pyjamas. I actually miss it more than I thought I would but I’m not ready to go back. I think the distance makes it all seem so ideal but then I remember different things about my life back home. I realise that I don’t want to go back to how I used to live, so many of the things I used to think and do seem so unimportant now. I have become accustomed to a life that I have created.
Right now I live in Warsaw, a city that has so much history and has been through so much to become what it is today. The people here are friendly once you get to know them, but can come off as a bit rude or angry from a distance. I have learnt to love that fast pace of it all and to appreciate public transport. Contrary to popular belief Poland does actually get warm, it is meant to be 30 degrees Celsius this weekend, but the difference between here and Australia is that on the cold days of winter it is always cloudy. At home it’s very deceptive, freezing days with clear blue skies, but here winter seems to drone on forever and even though it actually wasn’t too much colder than a Canberra winter the clouded skies made it so much more depressing. In more recent days the coming of spring has brought out a whole new side of Warsaw. I remember quite a few weeks ago on the first warm day we had this year, a few of us ventured to the old town to find it bustling with people, a sight we were not accustomed to. We didn’t even realise there were this many people living in Warsaw but now that summer is coming (21stJune) there is so much more to this city than I thought. I have gotten lost in places that I go to everyday simply because the warming weather has changed them so much. While I’m most certainly ready to move on from teaching (it’s not for me) and ready to explore Europe some more, I don’t want to leave this city that has become home for the past 4 (almost 5) months. Maybe I’m afraid of going out into the big wide world, but mainly I think it’s because I’m afraid to move far away from all the people I have met and those who I have come to care about immensely, and maybe it’s because I’m afraid I won’t ever come back.